Hey Sweethearts!

2010-11-24T00:48:00.002+08:00

Not as active in here, but do get updates about me here okay! And follow! :)
(i.e. Twitter, Tumblr, Formspring)

Cus I really don't wanna lose my regular readers!

2010-11-24T00:09:00.002+08:00

They expect you to hang on.
They expect you to stay strong.
They expect you not to give up.
Because they believe that you can do it eventually.

They say, believe in yourself that you can overcome this. But what happens if you ran out of faith? So what happens next?

You know you can't give up cus there's too much to risk. You know you hafta stay strong cus people expect you to be. You know you hafta hang on cus that's the only choice left.

I've never thought I would end up feeling like this. I'm supposed to be enjoying this right? Cus this was what I've been working hard for and most importantly, this is what I love right?

But no, all I wanna do now is hide under my blanket.

To feel every bit of your sanity seeping out from you, to feel like you're slowly losing your mind, to feel like you're going to lose yourself, that's scary.

It's not supposed to be like this. It's really not.

Le sigh.

2010-10-24T02:06:00.003+08:00

It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better

I love you, sweetheart.

2010-10-18T22:49:00.005+08:00

It's a new week once again! And in exactly a week, school is reopening. Boo! Me no likey ya. D:

Spent most of my time working last week. Gotta earn as much money before sch reopens. Haha.

Breakfast with Andi on Thurs morning was nice. We headed down to Macs & grab our burgers. Talk over random things, had a long morning walk after that before I headed to work.

And finally on Fri, the whole lot of the usuals went over to the other end of Spore to attend Ami's bday chalet! :D The food was awesome possum, and so is the company. Happy belated birthday once again, Ami dear. :)

And again, I was over at Pasir Ris on the following day for the store BBQ outing. Another day of good food, so I was happy. Hehe.

P.S. IGNORE THE MASAI FACE, KTHXBYE.

Yanty!

With Firman & Wan.

Wan & Sydi!

Wannnnn~

Shida the Awesome Chef!

Sunday was well-spent with the family & Andi over at Vivo. Bought my new Macbook (yeay!) & Mama's vacuum too. The fam then headed home while me & Andi met up with Shirah & Wan for dinner.

Spent some quality time with the boy at Keppel Bay after that. I'm still pretty much in love. Just 2 more weeks, 1st anni. Let's keep holding on, baby. Love you.

So yeahhhh, midshift tmr~

Take care all! :) xoxo

2010-10-14T23:45:00.000+08:00

Mama always give us that one piece of advice, "Jangan terlalu happy sangat, nanti nangis."

I guess I totally got owned by that tonight. Sigh.

I've been a tad too happy the last 2 days. Laughing a little bit too much, smile a little bit too wide, just a little too happy.

And now, I just can't deal with this whole twirl of emotions. Sad, disappointment, regret. I just can't.

There's too much to lose to give up now, too much to lose to quit now.

But, this whole sucky feeling is just a little too much. Just like how I was happy before, a little too much.

2010-10-07T13:23:00.013+08:00

Hehe, it's really been a while since I last wrote in here. Sorry! Busy woman lah! Hahaha. :D

So yeah, Hari Raya feels kinda different this year. Probably bcus I was too busy with work, trainings, performances, etc. But nevertheless, all houses visited! :D

So what have I been occupied with for the past few weeks?

1. Hari Raya with the SecSch Clique!

Had an awesome time with them eventhough only a few turned up. Our jokes, teasings can never get old. The best I ever had & will always be. :)

3. Adiratna Jalan Raya!

It was a successful outing with the girls. Good job Ifa, for all the planning & arrangements! :D From Hougang to Cck, it was awesome time spent. Best part, the bus driver gerek gilerrrrr & the abg2 CD (ahem!) Hehehehe. :P

4. Hari Raya Performance @ Mandai Hill Army Camp

First collaboration with Seri Thera frm SP. Good experience. Performance paling lepak. Feeling-feeling dlm lounge gitu. Haha.

5. @ Jalan Raya

My first time joining them. Mixed feelings.

6. KT Jalan2 Carik Pasal

Okaye, I'll be back with more updates! Hopefully! Hehehe. :P

2010-09-12T17:16:00.001+08:00

Do you know how it feels like to be living under someone's shadow? Do you?

No matter how hard you try to break away from the darkness, it still overcomes you. The light is always there, but you jz can't seem to reach out to it. All bcus you're jz living under the shadow.

Suddenly, you don't seem to matter as much anymore. Inferiority. But who's to say you're superior to begin with? All bcus you're jz living under the shadow.

Simply said, nothing is ever enough, nothing is ever satisfying. So why bother? When you're jz living under the shadow.

***

Senang ckp, the next person yg tanye mane die skola, lps tu tanye aku skola mane plak, I'll jz ans, "Dalam kocek kau."

2010-09-12T04:00:00.003+08:00

Salam readers! :)

First & foremost, I would like to wish all my Muslim brothers & sisters SELAMAT HARI RAYA! Maaf Zahir & Batin! :D

It's alr the 3rd day of the festive season, how has it been for you guys so far? Hmm, mine as usual, has always been awesome.

First day with the Paternal aunts, uncles & cousins never fail to put a smile on my face at the end of the day. Oh, the Jaafar family is in Green this year! Lesser houses this year but nevertheless, collection tetap masok! Hehe. :P

And for the 2nd day, Andi's family came over after we went out for a short visiting. Bliss, period.

So anw, that's my Hari Raya for you so far!

Dan sempena hari yang mulia ini, saya menyusun sepuluh jari memohon maaf atas segala kesilapan saya, sama ada dengan sengaja atau tidak. Eid Mubarak. :)

Here are some photos! Kat fb ade bnyk lagi! :D

2010-09-03T23:34:00.005+08:00

What I've been up to lately:

MCC Iftar @ Pertapis

@ Marina Barrage with Andi

Waiting for pics from Shakina & Yanto for ytd's Iftar! :)

2010-09-01T06:08:00.001+08:00

A new month arrives, a new chapter begins.

It's been 10 long months, baby. And to be honest, it wasn't exactly the easiest 10 months of my life. Too many heartbreaks, too much drama. Yet, I know I've been at my happiest self eversince.

They keep saying, I deserve to be with someone who makes me happy. Someone who doesn't complicate my life. Someone who doesn't hurt me.

However you, complicate my life in a way I can't comprehend. It's like as if you take every single piece of me & tie it up to a dead knot. You've hurt me in almost every possible way. Sometimes, it's like you don't even care. But at the end of the day, you make me happy.

I tell myself often, no pain, no gain.
We hafta go through the bad, to get to the good.

So now, enough drama, enough heartaches. At least for the moment.

I can't promise things will be easy breezy all the time, but I promise we'll go through it together.

Cus with you, life is a routine. Without you, life is unbearable.

Happy 10th month, baby. You know I love you.

2010-08-28T23:50:00.001+08:00

They always say, you'll only miss the water when the well runs dry. How true.

I can't imagine myself without my Mum, Dad, Sis & Brother. That's exactly how weak I am.

Those kids in there, they're such strong individuals, you shud be ashamed of yourself. Cus I am, for sure.

They go thru each day without the love of their parents. They go thru each day knowing they have to get on with life. They go thru each day, without a family.

I sincerely pray that life will treat them well one fine day, insyaAllah. For I know, He knows best.

So before you decide to air your family's dirty laundries in public, put yourself in their shoes.

Ask yourself, "What will I ever do without my family?"

2010-08-26T05:42:00.001+08:00

Things have definitely gone way out of hand, way out of control in jz a blink of an eye.

But I'm jz gonna sit back & watch bcus everything is all starting to get more amusing by the sec. So amusing it's turning you into a joke.

I had your back since Day 1 & I stood my ground. So tell me, who has mine now?

Cus in all honesty, I can no longer tell who's fake, and who's real, anymore.

2010-08-25T02:17:00.001+08:00

Because sometimes, all you need is just that one phonecall to chase the loneliness away.

I'm not the kind of girl who can survive on her own. Hell no, I'm not independant like that. I constantly need my family, my girlfs, my buddies & of course, I need my boyf.

They say, sooner or later, I hafta stop depending, gotta start learning. Cus things have a habit of backfiring.

So which one do I choose? Sooner? Or later?

2010-08-21T12:59:00.001+08:00

Hey all! Jz happened to have some extra time in hand so I thought I shud probably update this space a little.

My Letter Challenge will still continue, dun worry. Haha.

I wonder if I still have my regular readers. Hmm, my bad cus I've been very busy these days. So what's new for me?

As most of you know, I've ended my attachment over at RIA. Hell yes, I miss the family there but life goes on. My hardwork paid off when Rentak Singapura went on almost smoothly. Heh. Glitches here & there but all was fine. :)

And if you religiously read my twitter, you guys shud know I've been terribly sick the last week. What started from jz Tonsilitis led on to an infection in my ear bcus of the bacteria spread. In & out of polyclinic & one day I decided, enuf is enuf, so I was sent to NUH A&E. Ugh. Nth felt fine after that. My ears were hurting so much, I felt like pulling my hair out. Lucky for me right now, the pain has subsided. But shall not jinx myself!

And last but not least, moving on from RIA, I got myself a new part-time job. So far it has been good. But I really love the environment. Way better than Sentosa's. Hahaha.

So yeah, that's all for now. No pics at all cus I'm updating this thru my E72 cus hmmm, let's jz say my laptop is still MIA. Haha.

Selamat Berpuasa my Muslim sisters & brothers!

2010-08-13T21:34:00.006+08:00

Day 17 - Someone from my childhood

The moment I saw the topic for this day, almost instantly, I knew who I wanna write to.

The first girl whom taught me the meaning of 'Bestfriend'.

Nur Diana Bte Jailani

I remember staring at her in the community centre hall 13 years ago. Yes, I was only 6 and I was staring at her. Bcus she had such beautiful eyes.

Little did I knew, we met up again a few months later where we became classmates. We clicked just like that. 2 years of primary school life, we were placed in the same class. When she buy a certain bag, I would beg my mum to get it for me too. When she puts on a certain hairclip, I would make sure I'll get the same one too.

Cus back then, friendship held such a simple meaning. A pure sincere connection between 2 innocent girls.

Being little kids, we had our fair share of quarrels. There were countless of 'taknak-friend-awak-lagi' moments but through it all, we are still the best of friends.

We then kinda drifted when we got separated in Pri 3, I had my own friends, she had hers. But we still managed to keep the friendship. We even had the same boyfs! :P

Sec sch has passed yet we managed to find time for each other. Rmb how the both of us go arnd Polytechnics for their Open House tgt? Alongside with Hisyam? And how we still had each other's back despite our unexpected O'Level results? And Hisyam had to console the both of us? Awww, those good times.

Diana, I hope you're doing fine in your new home. I hope everyone is well at home. Although we rarely have the chance to meet now, I jz wanna say I have never regretted knowing you since 12 years ago. Cus once a bestfriend, always will be a bestfriend. Much love & misses!

2010-08-13T21:19:00.003+08:00

Day 16 - Someone that's not in my country

Hello you! Makes me wonder, have you ever been to Singapore? Yes, have you ever been to this tiny island?

Just so you know, my country just turned 45 recently. How old is yours? We might not be one of the oldest country yet but I gotta tell you, I'm definitely lucky to be here. Wanna know why?

Bcus I wake up every morning, breathing in fresh air.
Bcus I go around town knowing I have friends here & there.
Bcus I can eat at different places without the fear of poisoning.
Bcus I can have fun without the risk of getting shot.
Bcus I stay out late at night knowing I am still safe.

Like other countries, we have our own attractions such as the Night Safari, Sentosa, Marina Barrage, Universal Studios Singapore & the latest one, Marina Bay Sands!

Hungry? You can have food even at 2 in the morning!

Itching to shop? We have such thing called Late-Night shopping whereby malls open up till the wee hours, specially for their shoppers!

Sounds good? Sounds fun? What else are you waiting for?

2010-08-11T16:54:00.003+08:00

Day 15 - Someone I miss the most

Looking through those pictures, you're definitely someone I miss. So. Damn. Fucking. Much.

You're so close yet so far away & I don't understand how can this feel so right when in fact, it's just wrong.

It may just be a moment to you, but it changed every single one for me.

Till we meet again, I'll be missing you.

2010-08-05T16:44:00.007+08:00

Day 14 - Someone I've drifted away from

Our friendship was something that no one expected. The kind that never crossed in anyone's mind. The kind that surprises everyone.

But no matter what, till this very day, I absolutely have no regrets.

I can still rmb how we first started talking, how we first became each other's listening ears, how we first had each other's back in almost everything & so much more.

The laughter you brought into my life when all I wanna do is cry & frown. The light you shone into my life when it's dark all around. The colours you brought into my life when my skies are grey.

Of all the memories we shared tgt such as our studying session in the library, lepak sessions over at your place, chilling sessions at Starbucks, writing cheesy letters to each other, one stood out the most.

The day you cried for me when I told you one of my most heartbreaking problem.

Before you, I don't remember having anyone who would cry along with me. No matter how heartbreaking, no matter how hurtful my problems sounded, no one ever cried along with me.

Until you came along.

My first ever bestfriend who shed tears for me when I poured out my feelings.

I miss having you around. I miss all the fun times we had tgt. I miss sharing my stories with you. I miss you.

With us having our own commitments now, I can't blame anyone for being the reason why we drifted.

But I do hope you still remember, that I will always be here for you. And yes, I still stand by my words, "Even if it's at 2 in the morning, I will cab down to your place if you ever need me to."

Cus you'll always be my girl.

2010-07-16T11:52:00.005+08:00

Day 13 - Someone I wish could forgive me

It's been nearly 7 or 8 years since you left us. The whole trauma you put us through. The whole hurt & pain we had to endure. The whole shame & burden we had to carry on our shoulders. The whole fear we had to face. The whole series of event still sticks in my head like plague. Like an irritant I can't get rid of.

Did you even care? Apparently not. Cus you're too busy & too selfish for your own happiness.

The day you walked out of that door, was the day you walked out of my life. For that one split second, you made me believe there was no such thing as Happily Ever After. You tainted the whole idea of love that I had in my mind.

I couldn't care less when people bugged me to look you up. I couldn't be bothered to acknowledge you when we bumped on the streets. Cus I always question myself, "Why should I?"

Yes, call me rude, call me ignorant, call me whatever you want but I'm never convinced why I should give you the respect that you deserve.

Where were you when I was sick? Where were you when I passed my PSLE with flying colours? Where were you when entered secondary school for the first time? Where were you when Kakak got into Uni? Where were you when Rudy broke his arm?

I had no idea where you were. We had no idea where you were.

No amount of convincing will change my heart. They say blood is thicker than water. To hell with that.

So please, forgive me, for not being able to forgive you.

2010-07-16T10:59:00.002+08:00

Day 12 - The person I hate most/caused me a lot of pain

For someone as stubborn as me, I actually do change my mind very frequently. One moment I can be fine with someone, the next moment you'll see me bitching about that same someone. Fickle-minded much, yes?

But you, have actually made the past few years of my life a living hell.

Yes, I hafta admit I do judge people by their first impressions. And by the aura they give off. If one fail at both, I'll forever be repelled by his/her existance, no matter how nice they are.

But, being me, I always go back & forth. If you got into my wrong books, I will really try to get you out of it. There are people whom I really tried to be nice to despite them doing shit behind my back. But somehow or rather, out of their own accord, they walk right back into the wrong book. I can see easily put names here but I won't.

So, what else can I say? I don't hate that easily, really. I just dislike. But if you constantly give me reasons to roll my eyes and shrug my shoulders at the mention of your name, then that's just too bad.

But honestly, I can't even rmb how I felt about you when we first met. But I knew, I hated you the moment I knew you.

I don't wish to waste any of my time for you, so take care & goodbye.

2010-07-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

Day 11 - A deceased person I wish I could talk to

With no doubt, I wish I could still talk to my late Uncle Yusof.

Obek, it's been 3 years since you left us. It really wasn't easy for most of us to accept your loss, especially Obek Zah & Kak Supi. But as time passes by, it gets a little easier.

I wish you knew how empty it feels without you around. I wish you knew how heavy my heart gets whenever we have Majlis Tahlil for you cus that's when I can really feel your absence. :'(

Things have pretty much changed for the past 3 years. I am now doing my attachment & will end school really soon. I passed my 'A' Maths in Olvls. I hope you're proud of me.

Kak Supi got engaged with Abg Iyuan & they're now happily married. I'm very sure we are all waiting for a junior. Kak Ada is juggling between her work & school. Busy girl she is. Kak Efin is now in NUS, the first in our family to make it to a local uni. Abg Wan is serving the nation as an army, the first guy in the family too. Alawi will taking his O'levels this year. And he's been busy climbing now. Syasya is doing well in school too, I heard. Adam is turning into a hunk now, really good-looking boy. Icaaa currently has 3 cages of hamsters at home. She's really an animal person. Enab is really growing up fast. She has learn to put on make-up & dress up, yknw. Rudy is managing in school & is in his school's Floorball team. And last but not least, Akif, he is growing rounder by the second and he loves eating chicken.

All the parents are doing alright. Nenek is good too. She jz came back from Boyan. She went together with Cik Ma's family for a holiday.

We're all coping alright so far, but only God knows how much we wished you're still here with us. I'll always pray for your well-being up there. We miss you.

Till we meet again at the gates of Heaven, InsyaAllah.

And oh, I hope you're taking good care of my late little bro, Firdaus too.

2010-07-15T22:45:00.003+08:00

Day 10 - Someone I don't talk to as much as I'd like to

This is gonna be kinda unexpected, but oh wells, here we go. :)

Hi. It's been so long since I last saw you eh? I hope you're fine & dandy. I know you are. Erm, I really have no idea where to start but I gotta do what I gotta do aye?

We both know it's getting harder to talk now. You're busy with school, I'm tied down at work. There's way too much things for us to catch up on. You owe me stories. Like, LOADS OF IT. You better fill me in about your school, your family & your girlf (!!!!) I have yet to meet her. Pfft.

But sincerely, I hope you're managing well. I really hope things are getting better at home for you. Aiya, girlf-wise, confirm okay one lah right! Haha.

I hope you still rmb the things I've said before. When things don't go your way, don't think too much about it. Cus I know & everyone knows how easily affected you can get. Not that it's a bad thing. When you get mad at smtg/someone, you gotta keep your temper in check. Not everyone is comfortable or suitable to be scolded with vulgarities.

Okay, enough of serious stuff. Cus I really can't see where this is going. Haha.

In 3 weeks' time, my attachment's gonna end. Better make sure I see your face soon! :)

2010-07-15T14:27:00.005+08:00

Day 9 - Someone I wish I could meet

The anonymous people posting hate-questions on my Formspring.

Yes, I wish I could meet all of you. Or if it's all from the same person, yes, I wish I could meet you. And ask, "Why?"

I wanna ask, why do you wanna bring me down THAT badly. Do I even know you? Or perhaps, do you even know me in the first place?

If you do, then do you know me WELL ENOUGH to point out every single flaw I have, or are you just assuming from the things you see?

Is it really THAT important to know if I'm a virgin or not? If I answer yes, does that agitate you? But if I answer no, does it give you a sense of satisfaction? Cus I would really like to know.

Why do hate the idea of me being with Andi? So much that you're raking up the past? Does it make you happy as a passerby to see him cheating behind my back? Well, if you meant well, thanks, but no thanks.

And if you're irritated by my constant request for questions, why do you even bother checking my Facebook profile? The way your mind works is beyond my comprehension.

People may say I am asking for trouble the minute I open an account. But hey, I just wanna have fun with this. But that doesn't mean you should take advantage of it.

Hate-tags, cyberbullying, staying anonymous are so yesterday. Cus if you think typing shit behind a computer screen makes you cool, well, REALITY CHECK, it does not.

2010-07-08T22:24:00.003+08:00

Day 8 - My Favourite Internet Friend

This gotta be the day I wasn't really looking forward to. Only because I dun really have an internet friend.

My friends are real people. Does that make sense? Hmm.

But wdvr it is, it'll be nice talking to you. (if you ever exist, that is)

2010-07-07T20:17:00.002+08:00

Day 7 - My Ex-Boyfriend

To whom it may concern,

I've never thought I'd be writing this for you. It's been a while since we met. Sincerely, I hope you're doing fine wherever you are.

Honestly, I can't even rmb when was the last time I thought about you. No, not because I no longer care, but because I know you'll do much better without me around.

There was never a time I regretted all the moments we shared together. Therefore, I thank you for being a part of life back then.

Just so you know, I'm happier now. And I hope you are too.

2010-07-06T22:23:00.002+08:00

Day 6 - A Stranger

For someone outgoing like me, it won't be long before you become a friend of mine. I've met many of you as I grow up. Some of you are nice, some of you are just nasty.

Everytime I meet a new you, I can't help but wonder, will you be a part of my life for a long time? Or will it just be a passing phase of life? Cus not everyone stays and not everyone will leave.

For being too naive, too nice, too trustful, you've shown me the merciless side of life. For that, I've learnt to build a wall around me. Cus it's never worth the hurt & pain.

But whatever it is, if our paths cross one day, I'll be glad to know you & be your friend.

2010-07-06T22:15:00.003+08:00

Day 5 - My Dreams

There were so many of you back then when I was just a little girl. I wanted to be a teacher, I wanted to be a lawyer, I wanted to be a princess, I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to be so much more.

As the years go by, the old you left little by little. But there were new ones greeting me along the way.

Old dreams, new dreams. Gotta work terribly hard to achieve both. Cus nothing comes easy in this life.

But one thing for sure, a dream that won't change, I wanna be someone successful. It may still seem unclear what my future holds, I hope I will make it up there someday.

Dreams, don't lose sight of me just yet. We will meet soon.

2010-07-06T21:55:00.002+08:00

Day 4 - My Siblings

To my one & only Kakak,

Although we're just a year apart, we're very much different from one another. We're like opposite ends, never agreeing.

You're the smart one among us, I'm the not-so-fast learner. You're the patient one, I'm the impatient one. You're the sensible one, I'm the anything-go one.

But through our bitter fights, our childish quarrels, our endless arguments for the past 19 years (& still counting), I know I cudn't ask for another sister just like you. All the times you covered up my act, all the times you had my back, all the times you covered my ass, I wudn't know what to do without you.

I know I'm difficult to deal with, I know it's not easy to handle me at times, I know I get too stubborn, but just know, blood is always thicker than water. And that nothing in this world can change my love for you.

***

And to my one & only Lil Brother,

Though you're always getting on my nerves, though you can be one of the biggest pain in the ass, though you can be a prick in the skin, you know Kakak is always here for you.

I may not show it to you, I may not tell it straight to you, but to God I swear, I will do anything just for you.

You're in your growing up years. It's this period of time where you're exploring your own feelings, pushing every limits, rebelling against all rules, etc. Go learn as much as you can cus I know, one day you will make us all proud.

2010-07-03T18:33:00.002+08:00

Day 3 - My Parents

Mummy, Ibu, Umi, Mum, Mother. Call yours whatever you want but I call mine, Mama.

You're the only woman I know, whose strength can't be compared to another. Your sacrifices, even with a lifetime, I can't even repay. Your patience, MasyaAllah.

I've disappointed you over & over again. Yet, not even once you gave up. I've made you cry over & over again. Yet, once again you never gave up. It's definitely not what I'm very proud about cus everyone knows, it's one of the biggest sins ever. But I really hope, my successes in school since Day One is enough to make you proud.

I might not be as smart & sensible as Kakak. I might not be as close and pampered to you as Rudy. But trust me, I'm doing my best to be good daughter to you.

For all the times you comforted me when my heart gets broken over & over again, for all the times you consoled me when I'm disappointed with my results, for all the times you were there for me, I can't thank you enough.

***

Daddy, Dad, Pop, Abah, Ayah. Call yours whatever you want but I call mine, Papa.

I've never failed to beam with much pride whenever someone says we're so much alike. Face, hair, habits, temper, I got it from you.

Though you're rarely at home because you have to work hard for the family, sometimes I wish you knew how much I miss you. Every morning I wake up, you already left for work. Every night when you reached home, I'm already asleep most of the time.

Despite everything, you're the only man I trust with my whole heart. Through everything, I know you'll do everything it takes to keep me safe.

For the times you fetched me from school, for the times you brought me to the doctor, for the times you personally drive me down to NUH when I got too sick, I thank Him for giving me a father like you.

2010-07-02T13:37:00.003+08:00

Day 2 - My Crush

I had to think really hard about who should I write to for today. I really couldn't think of any guys that I'm crushing on right now. Cus the only guy who can fill up my tummy with butterflies is still Andi. Hehe.

So, since he's the new upcoming heart-throb in the world, I shall write to Jayden Smith.

WHY ARE SO DAMN CUTE HUH?

Haha, kidding. That's not a very cute start eh? Hehh. :P

Watching 'The Karate Kid' truly made me fall for these little boy. How can you not?

Tell me,
which guy would actually come up and talk to you without being cheesy?
which guy would throw punches & kicks when a girl got bullied?
which guy would physically pull a girl out of training just to spend time with her?
which guy would run miles & miles just to be on time for her audition?
which guy would prepare a script in a foreign language just to be friends with a girl?

No other guys would it. At least not here in Singapore.

So please, Jayden, do not grow up too fast. You're looking really cute now. And please don't go around breaking hearts all over town. Cus that's not a very nice thing to do.

Okay, lotsa love from me. (:

2010-07-01T21:49:00.008+08:00

Day 1 - My Bestfriend

As cynical as I sound the last few weeks about not knowing who my bestfriends are anymore, I realised I'd probably not search deep enough. And ytd, I found my answer.

Many may say, one can only have one bestfriend. But no, I'm proud to say, I have 5.

Six years ago, He gave me an opportunity to meet 4 beautiful girls. Inner & outer beauty, they have it both. Wherever they are, no doubt that's where you'll see me too. Cus we're tight like that.

Along the way, we learnt more about each other. We accepted each others' flaw & we celebrated each others' successes. We've been through umpteen misunderstandings, cold shoulders, quarrels & whatnots but look where we are now. Personal commitments, work, school might have taken a toll on our friendship the last few months but there's one thing I learnt yesterday;

That some things never change.

One is still as irritating as ever. One is still as wealthy as ever. One is still as motherly as ever. One is still as bimbotic as ever. You go figure.

Though we might not be there for each other as often as we did back then, we know how perfectly we can still fit into each others' life.

Though we have different dreams & goals now, we know we will still remember all our silly inside jokes & antics.

Though we are 5 different individuals now, we know we will still be there for each other, no matter what.

6 years & still counting.

Siti Shakina Bte Razale. Lydia Bte Jamil. Nur Ainni Bte Subhi. Siti Hajar Bte Suherman.

Names that I've memorised by heart.
Names that I've etched in my mind.
Names of...

...My Bestfriends

2010-07-01T21:41:00.003+08:00

Hehe, it's been exactly a month since I last updated this space. I'm very sure I've lost most of my regular readers. Oh man. :(

But it's okaye cus I am back! And hello July! :D

Alright, the only purpose of me updating now is to just inform you all that I'm gonna do the 30-days letters challenge! Hehe. Org buat, aku pun nk buat. :P

So yupp. Since it's a new month, it's almost time I revive the dead blog!

And to Andi, 8TH CHAPTER BABY! Love you! :)

2010-06-01T11:09:00.001+08:00

7th Chapter.

"Counting on forever." - You.

Oh yes, I love you.

2010-05-14T01:07:00.004+08:00

Hmm, whatcha say? Hmm, that you only meant well?
Well, of course you did.

Hmm, whatcha say? Hmm, that it's all for the best?
Of course it is.

Just a heartbreak wrapped up with a nice smile.

2010-05-09T01:03:00.000+08:00

"My mom is a never-ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being."

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MAMA.
I LOVE YOU. :)

2010-05-07T12:19:00.005+08:00

There's really no time for me to arrange my sentences here.
So please, bear with me. At least til I end my attachment in Aug.

Cus it's getting a little hectic now.

Work has been fine, as always.

Everything here is managable.

Was on a design stint recently.

Posters, banners, logos & whatnots.

But it makes me happy, so we're cool.

Lunch at Kenny Rogers in JB was good too.

So, life's good.

Have been going back to school for training.

Tiring, I must say.

But I believe it's gonna be worth it.

Cus it's our dream to bring home the same smell of victory.

Or something even better.

Being the leader, it's a love-hate relationship.

But still, life's good.

Things are definitely going well for us now.

Well, at least that's how I feel.

Though we are spending lesser time together.

I'm not gonna take this for granted.

Cus you mean the world to me.

Now that's why, life's good.

2010-05-05T00:19:00.006+08:00

"Sometimes you have to be apart from the people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes it makes you love them more."
- The Last Song

***

'Cus my feelings for you haven't change since 4 years ago.
Love you!

2010-05-03T01:51:00.004+08:00

It takes an entire lifetime to write the words "And they live happily ever after".
And that is how long I wanna be with you, Andi Risna.

Happy 6th, sweetheart.
Without a single doubt, I love you.

***

I'll have a proper update soon.
Too busy!

2010-04-16T08:58:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the lack of proper updates.
Haven't had time to really sit down & post anything.
Pardon me for that.

But I've been doing good, so far.
Work's been treating me good.
I even got to go on air ytd, just so you know.

Though, there are some days when I don't feel like smiling.
But to know my girls are forever with me.
That's enough for now.

Cus I don't need anyone else.

2010-04-10T15:57:00.006+08:00

And I don't wanna walk around alone, I don't want to walk this earth, if I gotta do it solo.

Finally, I'm free enough to drop by this space & get it updated. It's been really busy for me eversince attachment started. :(

So let's start from where we left off. Heh. Hmmm.

Had a blast working for AnugeraHitz.sg. Enough, said. Cus you guys should know why if you religiously follow me on Twitter. :)

My official pass. :)

Hehehehehe! Taufik, ftw! :D

That was how close I was sitting to Taufik! :P

With Kak Nity. :)

Yes, last Sunday was MP's saringan at YCK CC. Fahmi picked me up alongside with Im & L. Andi came really late & I missed out on Keris's performance as a result. I was quite pissed but I guess it got better cus I finally get to meet him after 9 days of going solo. Haha! Sorry, I'm jz damn addicted to that Iyaz song. Okay, wdvr. All the teams did their very best & we're quite happy with the result, I guess. :) Left the place with FarahD, Firman, Afiq & a few others. Headed dwn to Marina, hoping to catch a movie but it was too late. Oh! I bought another new book. Heh, I havent even finish my 'Handle With Care' siaaa.

Before it started.

As things havent been going smooth, me & Andi had a talk in the bus. I dropped the bomb which left him quite shaken. Hurr. But we managed to kiss & make up. So we're good. :)

Work has been alright, jz rushing thru a few deadlines. But the boy made it tough again at the beginning of this week. Sigh. If killing is not a crime, he'll be the first person I would point a gun at.

But, last Wed, was doing my recording when his name popped up on my screen & we met up at JP after I ended work. No time for bitter fights, we made up once again & had my Nasi Ayam Penyet. And this boy here couldn't stop saying, "Tights are not pants yaaa!" cus the waitress was wearing like so. Hahaha. Then we had a talk again at the voideck about his time at Zirca. Irritating nak mampos. -.-

Quickly fished out my hp the moment I saw my bbyg's name! :) Baek Lynno!!!

Our Nasi Ayam Penyet!

Owner of my heart. :)

And yes, those are my bracelets on his wrist. He's been wearing it since Sunday. -.-

And Thurs, I heard my script on air for the first time. I was so excited, I swear. Did my work & left with Kak Shai for the press conference with ST12. Quite excited yet nervous at the same time cus I have a one-to-one interview with them too. A really good experience, I must say. Had a mini dinner at ZamZam & left to meet Andi again. We walked around JP aimlessly before he sent me home. Sat at our usual spot & talked a little.

I still rmb, there was this time he was so busy talking about E that I shouted in his face, "JGN BEBUAL PSL DIE BOLEH TAK?!" Ah, amek kau. Terkejot berok skejap tu anak. >:(

During the press conference with ST12. :)

Big poster outside!

The venue!

With the ST12 guys!!! :D

Pretty owners of the place!

Their autograph! :D

And ytd was a busy day for me, that I left the office 4hrs later than I'm supposed to. Which is at 10. Managed to finish up 2 of my recordings before Abg KC came in & say he's gonna do another recording with me. I was like, hmmmm okaye. But managed to negotiate with him to push it to another day cus I was really tired alr. :(

Papa came & fetch me before picking Mama & Kakak up at Aunt Ima's place. Bought Ramly burgers for supper & soon enough, I was already in Lalaland.

And today! Feels a lil lazy to go out cus weekends are the only time I get my rest! :X

2010-04-03T00:21:00.002+08:00

To everyone who's reading this,
The guy in the picture above is called Andi Risna.
If you happen to bump into him on the streets or are meeting him anytime, could you do me a small favour?
Cus it's been more than a week since I last saw him.
Could you help me tell him that I miss him, so so much?
And could you also help me tell him that I love him?
Please?

xoxo, me :'(

2010-04-01T02:24:00.005+08:00

Here comes another new month of the year...

The romantics would call this a love story, the cynics would call it a tragedy. In my mind, it’s a little bit of both, and no matter how you choose to view it in the end, it does not change the fact that it involves a great deal of my life and the path I’ve chosen to follow.

***

5 chapters & still counting.
Gotta admit, it hasn't always been rainbows & butterflies.
We've got our fair share of fight & tears.
But those moments can't compare to all the times you made me laugh & smile.
Cus you truly make me the happiest girl in the world.

Happy 5th, baby.
I love you.

2010-03-23T20:12:00.004+08:00

Senyumanmu, raut wajah mu, membuatku terus merindumu.

Alright! So here's a little update about what's happening recently. :)

AGM 2010 was held last Sat, carrying the Masquerade theme. It was a really simple affair. Kudos to the committe for making it happen. Unexpectedly, I was given the new post of Head of Adiratna. Nobody saw it coming, seriously. I remember hearing my name & immediately I went, "What the fuck?" softly in my heart. But I still went down graciously & accepted. Congratulations to the others too. I hope we'll continue to bring up MCC's good name. Insya Allah. :)

The new committee. :)

Masked. :)

With the Main Comm of 09/10. :)

And it was also my last party night with the usual party people. Zirca/Rebel as usual. Met up with Lili, Bob (I think) & Andi but they got rejected. I was mad pissed but I cudnt care less cus I knew I had to make full use of the last night I have. Had fun, but it wasn't an exceptional night. Mel drove us home after that.

And so ytd was my first day interning at MediaCorp RIA. Hmm, it wasn't too bad. Everyone calls me 'Adeq' there so I don't feel too weird. Everyone's really nice & friendly. Sat in with Kak Fiza den I had lunch with Kak Pah & Kak Shai. Oh! I got lost on my first day. So typical kan! Haha! I didn't know how to go back to the office from the radio conty. Hilarious, please. Haha. Then had a short briefing with Kak Lin bout expectations & job scope. Learnt basic website updates from Kak Nity after which I sat in with Kak Freda till 6 before I ended work.

So overall, it was pretty managable. :)

The radio conty.

My official RIA t-shirt.

Admin for Ria Fb! :)

Headed dwn to sch to drop by training & get updates for the performance. It was really nice being able to meet the girls once again after so long. Went home, crashed immediately till the next morning. :/

Dayah, Fyqa, Kiki & Saaap! :D

Reported way earlier for work today cus I had to sit in with Kak Shai & Abg RZ for their morning show. Very2 fun! Singing & dancing along to songs, sabotaging people & jz pure jokes. Started on one of my real tasks, ripping of songs. A WHOLE STACK OF THEM, MIND YOU! My eyes were like this =_= by the time I finished 10 pages of it. That's like, ripping 540 songs. And I still got lots of it to do tmr. Meh meh. :(

That's the whole stack of songs. x_x

Exceptionally tired so I didnt head down to school.

Alright, gotta brace myself & talk to the parents about sch stuff. And it's nothing but bad news. Sigh.

P.s. I miss Andi so much.

2010-03-18T20:22:00.004+08:00

Often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. We lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year’s time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. Now, let us devote our life to worthwhile actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings.
- Andre Maurois

***

I miss you, boyfriend. :(

2010-03-17T04:44:00.005+08:00

Aku hanya ingin kau tahu, besarnya cintaku, tingginya khayalku bersamamu.

Alright, so as you can see from the time above, yes I am still widely awake at the wee hours. Haha. That's bcus I alr had enough sleep in the evening. Beauty sleep is important before attachment starts snatching them away from me. Heh.

So yeah. Mon was Andi's 19th birthday. I admit I didnt have any special bday gift for him so I decided to bake him his favourite brownies on the night before. And instead of the usual small brownies, I made it into a bday cake. Hehe, it was my very very very first attempt in baking a bday cake but it was a success afterall. And very colourful too!

The process. The wordings are made from the sprinkles. Yes, I placed them one by one okaye! Sikit peh lengit. Grrr. Haha, kidding.

Called the bday boy to wish him at 12 midnight. Sempat tau sambil decorate cake! Hehe. :P

Mama helped me with the box and candles the next day, which was his official bday! So packed everything & headed to his place.

All ready in the box! :D

And I wasn't surprised he havent even stepped into the showers yet. -______- Picked out a shirt for him & forced him to bathe while I prepared the cake with candles.

Looks good huh? ^^

Overall, he was very happy indeed (i think!) cus he thought there wasnt gonna be a celebration or anytg. Snapped pics here & there with his mummy too. We left soon after for JP, bought Starbucks & jz hang out.

Happy birthday once again, baby. :)

Bday boy with his brownie cake. :)

Hehe, I love you!

Look how happy he looks like after blowing the candles. Means a lot to me. :)
A pity, the picture is out of focus. Mehh. :(

Cutting the cake.

Ready to be eaten! :D

His favourite. :)

Totally mummy's baby. Aww. :)

Oh yes. A lot of random convo btw me & the boy ytd. From the songs to be sang on our wedding day (chey!), to how many kids we should have, to how we're gonna have twin baby boys & name them Tom & Jerry, to so much more. Haha.

I love how he makes me laugh with the littlest things. *hearts*

And ytd too, followed him down to Fuhua to sit in the dikir training for Sahmura. Very very very glad to see the new batch. As usual, shy shy cat but they're definitely in for the fight. Awesome. I hafta admit I was very impressed with their spirit & all. Keep it up, all. :)

Alright. Will be dropping by Adiratna's training later, hopefully to see hw they're doing. I miss them!

And tonight, I'm not very sure if the party bells are ringing for me. The usual girls are definitely going, though.We'll see how. :/

Okaye, till then.

2010-03-15T02:01:00.004+08:00

It's 15 March today and that means...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDI RISNA!

May all your wishes come true on this special day, dearest!

You've brought so much laughter & joy in my life since Day 1 and with that, I pray to God that He will bless you with all the happiness in the world too and the best of health always.

Semoga dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki, Insya Allah. :)

I love you so much, baby!

xoxo

2010-03-11T22:17:00.013+08:00

It's getting way too deep and I know it's love because I can't sleep till you're next to me.

HAHA! Missing in action for over a week! Which explains the very long blog post today! Sorry readers, I'm too busy having fun. :P

Alright2, before I start on anytg, I jz wanna wish my Dearest Boy a real quick recovery from his bad cough & flu. Cus it's 4 more days to your 19th! :D

So yes. Biggest highlight last week was KT Chalet. Nothing but pure awesome time & fun. Put in my whole heart in preparing the birthday stuff which turned out really well. A few hiccups on the first night but it was all good with Monopoly Deal. Haha. Failed attempt at watching the sunrise.

Just reached.

Kiki on TV!

Karaoke session!

Preparing the bday stuff.

Haha our 3 birthday boys.

Our so-called Pinata. Haha.

Our "parents". (:

Setting up the place. Ben10!

Their bday "cake". Heh.

Ojan couldn't make it for the 1st night. So we celebrated these 2 first!

His farewell gift from us!

Had our KT Talk.

Our official cert! Designed by Yours Truly! :D

More open talk, bitching & gossiping. :D

2nd day started out really well with everyone playing kites & cards by the beach. It really felt like family. Like seriously. It warms my heart everytime I remember that moment. (: Then while some went swimming, the rest played more games. Prepared for BBQ. I was sure proud of myself. Haha! Birthday surprise for Ojan went well too. Glad he loved it. :D

Card players.

The wind was super windy I had to keep my hair in the cap.

Mellyboo!

While watching the rest playing kites.

With Fir before Bbq starts!

When Fiza has to keep quiet for 15 mins! :P

Hehe, the chefs, without Alep & Fyqa!

Bday boy, Ojan!

Preparing for waterbomb!

Before they left. (:

The ones who came for the Bbq! :D

And I had to clean the floor mat cus it was FUCKING DIRTY. I never did household chores & that was the night I had to do everything. Huhu.

With Arab!

Kampong Tiarap. Credits goes to Andi. (:

And after 4 days of not meeting Love, he came dwn with Haaaazril. I was a happy girl, I tell you. But a bummer, I was in the masai-est state ever. Haha! But ahhh who cares. :P Wanted to stay up with him the whole night but I ended up sleeping on the sofa while he played Monopoly Deal with Haaazril, Li & Imran.

Stupid boys pranked us when it was time to wake up. I felt like throwing a fit, I swear. But it all ended good. Had breakfast at KFC, laughed over a few jokes & then played Monopoly (again!) with Man & Yanti while waiting for Papa to fetch Me & Andi.

Before we left. Once again, credits to Andi. (:

The night was well spent with La Familia & Andi. (:

The rest of the days after was spent bumming arnd at home. Sleeping at the wee hours of 5am & only waking up at 3 or 4 in the afternoon. This is THE life. Haha.

And ytd night was spent with the Party People over at Rebel. Me, Andi, Eera, Mellyboo, Elfa & Ifa. Oh, Ainni, Rieza & Izzan too. It was my first Ladies Night over there & I can foresee myself not going anymore cus simply, the DJ suck. :/ Like I tweeted, I was going back & forth between enjoying myself & jz wanting to go home. But it all ended well, I guess.

Ifa, Elfa, Eera, Atiqa & Mel. (:

The Freeloaders!

With Loveeeeee~ (:

THEIR cheap thrill. Grr.

Shining yahh!

Fav party girls!

With Meldora!

Look how mischievous Andi looks like in this pic!

Niceeee~

No words can say how much I love her. (:

My #1 bullies. Put them tgt, I'll die. ><

Andi's Girls~ HAHAHAHA!

Empty dancefloor.

Then, super crowded!

Yattacos & Andi.

With Yattacos!

Tired nehhh~

With Syirah!

Spent some time with babylove before heading home. I think one of my favourite things to do with him is just watching him sleep. Haha. No, I'm not being sarcastic here but truly, he's just an angel. Hehe. :>

Okay, that's all for now! A week or so before attachment starts for me at RIA. Soooo, I'ma make full use of my holidays till then! :D

2010-03-03T13:32:00.002+08:00

Will be away on a private getaway till Friday!
So you won't find me anywhere online.
Awesome.

Don't miss me! :D

xoxo

2010-03-01T04:04:00.003+08:00

Andai diberikan emas permata, ku pilih senyumanmu.
Andai ku punyai mahligai indah, ku hadiahkan untukmu.
Dalam berjuta bintang berkerlipan, kau bagaikan kejora.
Antara ribuan mata menikam, takkan kubiarkan kau tenggelam.

***

Happy 4th, babylove. (:
Let's keep this going strong, shall we?

You know I love you.
*hearts*

2010-02-27T01:40:00.008+08:00

We 'bout to throw them bows, we 'bout swang them thangs.

MY PARTY NIGHT WAS AWESOME POSSUM! I SWEAR. :D

Advert exam was shit but I didnt let that affect my party mood! Hehe. Met up with Andi at Westmall before meeting up with Eera & Elfa over at Clark Quay. I didnt bother dressing up cus I didnt wanna bother to keep checking myself in the toilet. Haha.

So yes, the four of us sat by the river, watching people taking the G-Max ride.

By the Clark Quay River.

G-MAX!

Haha, happy girls. :D

Elfa, Me, Eera outside Zirca. (:

My love love love~ :D

The 2 girls you should really learn not to mess around with.

With Elfa. (:

About near 10, met up with Mellyboo & Co outside Zirca. Then Ainni came along to join us too. Favourite party people yawww. :D

Perspiring like fuck. Haha.

While waiting for Ainni.

With Elfa. (:

Trademark yahhh. Haha.

Double E + Double A! :D

Eera, Elfa & Me. (:

Sat arnd in Zirca for a while before the real party started. Didnt get to burn the dancefloor this time. But yg penting, both podiums got owned, BIG TIME. ^^

In Zirca.

Standard pre-party syndrome, SLEEPINESS. Haha!!

With Eera. (feat Andi's hand)

Finally, a perfect one. (:

^^

My everything. *hearts*

Mine mine mine. (:

The podium that got owned by us. Huhu. ^^

While waiting for the rest.

^^

^^

I look fat. ): No, it's bcus of the shirt. HAHAHA.

BESTEST! :D

^^

No photos taken using Eera's during the whole night cus we're having too much fun to bother. But, I shall post up the photos frm Izzan's cam, one of the Gerek Guys. (:

I really have no words to describe last night. Like, seriously. I had my favourite party girls with me & also my boyfriend. What more can I ask for? Oh, not forgetting that group of Gerek Guys. Haha.

The company was the best, the crowd was good, the DJ rocked, the songs were the bomb. SYIOK. (Y)

Left at bout 4plus and the usual 4 chilled a little before taking the train home. Crashed Man's place cus me & Andi cudnt take it. We were exhausted to the max, I tell you. Haha.

Woke up to the most painful thigh cramps & knees, ever. But it was all worth it. Hehe. ^^

Headed home at bout 2 & slept my life away.

Okay, school's out. All I'm gonna do for this 3 weeks is have as much as I can before attachment starts. Sounds like a good deal.

2010-02-25T15:56:00.002+08:00

I AM FUCKING DONE WITH SCHOOL!
DID YOU HEAR ME?
YES, I AM DONE WITH SLOGGING, MUGGING, STUDYING!
(okay, at least for the next 3 weeks.heh)

THEN 6MONTHS OF RADIOOOO~
OH YAY!

HURRAY! HURRAY!
I'M GONNA GO PARTY TONIGHT @ REBEL/ZIRCA!

AND MORE PARTY PLANS UP IN THE SCHEDULE TOO!
POWERHOUSE, REBEL, ZIRCA, EVERYWHERE!

2010-02-23T00:39:00.003+08:00

The greatest feeling in the world is to be around someone who wants to hold you, to kiss your forehead, and to be around you.

Who wants to call you at night, to see you smile.

But, what’s better than that is finding someone that does it all..

Because he wants to see you happy.

***

I Love You, So Much. (:
xoxo

2010-02-20T22:10:00.006+08:00

They can say whatever, I'ma do whatever, no pain is forever.

Oh yay! 1 exam paper down! I was very relieved the moment I walked out of the exam room ytd. Heh. So since Andi cancelled plans of meeting, I met up with Eera & Yanti. Chilled outside Cheers for bout 3hrs? Doing nothing but bitching, gossiping, singing, etc. We sure had a good time at Westmall, browsing for clothes we can wear for AGM. Hehe, we've got a real goooood plan in mind right, girls? ^^

My moodswings this time round is damn horrible. I got so much anger last night, I swear I could beat the shit out of anybody. So yeah, one mister decided to trigger the angsty button & boomz!

It really takes A LOT out of me to say the word 'Sorry'. Everyone knows that. But no, you dun even appreciate it, instead what I got back are heap loads of sarcasm. I shouldnt even bother to apologise for I-duno-what-fuck cus you're such an asshole. Ugh. Like I tweeted, klau muke kau hensem & badan kau baek mcm mane pun, tapi ego setinggi gunung & prangai mcm sial, tetap tak gune.

I'm done being your friend, dude.

***

Breathes.

On the other hand, I met Andi early in the morning today. As early as 11am. -.- He got his haircut & off we went to watch 'Valentine's Day' at JP. Hehe, thanks to Complimentary Tix(s) from FarahD. (: Poor boy had to tolerate my extreme moodswings after the movie. :/ Had GioGio & left JP for Westmall while he headed to work. Bought 2 new books which instantly made me feel good. Yes, I'm an emotional eater & buyer. Meh.

My new babies! :D

Updated book collection! I'm a happy girl. (:

And here's my shelf!

Yes, those are book collection, 2 turtles, photo on CCA Display Day, Bday Poster by Ami, photo of my fav little boys in the pink frame, heart plushie from Nazri for Vday last yr, Photo collage of me & Yanti, photo of me & Abg Wan & Body Shop gift from Baby! :D

So yeah, shall start on one of those books soon, now that I'm done with 'My Favourite Wife' by Tony Parsons. Yea yea, I'm a bookworm like that.

Okay, gotta go have my dinner now! Hungryyy~

2010-02-18T14:34:00.008+08:00

Ku intai cinta dalam rahsia dan airmata.

Alright, the plan was supposedly go down to Mel's place to study. But Mr Redlight came and the cramps started kicking in soon after. And even as I'm typing this now, my body is shivering. I hate period. >:(

So yes, before I continue studying, I shall share the photos takes during the Girlf's Day Out. (:

While waiting for Lynno at Marina Bay.

Eera, Me & Yanti (:

Very hot nehhh~

Lynno's trademark, Carbonara Spaghetti!

1. Bottle fell over the Chilli
2. Too windy = Difficult to eat
3. Mayonnaise squirt onto Ifa's feet

HAHA!!

1st time at Marina Barrage! :D

(Y)(Y)

Maid-maid Indon sesat. HAHAHA.

With Eera (:

Menyelit jek keje aku. Hehe.

At One Fullerton. Hottttt~

After getting up to some mischief. Huhu ^^

Cranky girl for the day. :/

EPIC!

Too tired to do jumpshots. Haha.

Y3A! :D

At the Padang.

With Ami (:

All the single ladies~~ *sings*

Amirr's, Hazman's, Andi's & Alep's (:

Tired dohhh~

Masai sia muke satu2. Of course lah! We walked from Marina Barrage to One Fullerton to Haji Lane okay! Haha.

Engrossed in the bitching session. Haha.

Complimentary drinks for us. (:

Alright that's all. Bye!

2010-02-17T14:15:00.006+08:00

If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I've been neglecting this space way too much. Look when was the last time I updated. Hurr.

Though school was pretty much on the slack side last week, I was too lazy cus I wasn't up to anything much.

Mon night was spent celebrating Kakak's 20th. Then we had late supper at Al-Azhar. Yumms!

Pretty Swensens cake!

Birthday Girl.

With Rudy (:

Rudy, Kakak & Me (:

With Papa & Mama (:

With Uncle (:

Ytd, I spent the whole day with the awesome FavGirlsxz. From Marina Barrage to One Fullerton to Shisha at Reiss @ Haji Lane. And we walked the whole time. Yes, walked. My legs were terribly sore at night. Shall post up the pics once I get them from the girls.

Laziness is getting a hold of me now. Feels wayyyyyy too lazy to study. Ugh.

All I want is to lay in bed. And have Andi Risna with me. I miss you already, boy.

2010-02-07T23:59:00.002+08:00

Dear New Week,

Please be nice and gentle to me for the next 7 days. I've had it rough last week, from the start all the way to the end. I've killed enough braincells, I've shed enough tears. Simply said, I've had enough.

So, all I'm asking for is just a pretty good week, with my loved ones around, all happy and giggly.

Thank you.

Lotsa love,

Me. (xoxo)

2010-02-06T23:06:00.003+08:00

Cause that's what you get when you let your heart win.

All I wanna say is, thank God the week is over! :D

It was definitely one of the toughest sch week ever but I'm glad I pulled through. All the sleepless nights, the stress, the panic attacks and not forgetting the tears, I'm leaving it all behind. Though "FYP" came a little too early for us, we survived. Great job, MassComm-ers! (:

So, my Friday in school ended with the attachment briefing right after our final Magazine submission. Received my training plan, checklist & wdvr else. And I hafta say I'm pretty much very excited to start interning for MediaCorp RIA 89.7fm! :D Hehe, bcus like what Alicia says, it's all about radioooooo now. Dedicating a whole 6months to something I really love, I'm really hyped up alr.

Rushed off to meet Eera & Yanti cus we had an impromptu plan of going Karaoke at Boon Lay! Random much, yes? But we all needed it. Spent 3hours singing our hearts out & eventually made my way home.

Definitely two of the best girlfriends, ever. (:

Haha, nak scroll lagu, tapi tak nmpk. So kene berdiri atas sofa. -____-

Huhuhu.

Susyyyy~

I don't wanna say anything bout ytd cus if you're following me closely on Twitter, you'd probably alr knw it was a hell of a rollercoaster ride. But whatever.

Okay, 2 more datelines this coming week. Come Wed, I am free. Okaye, no. I still got 2 exam papers. -.-

Bye.

2010-02-01T18:19:00.006+08:00

Just gotta keep going and I got to be strong, just keep pushing on.

Okay, here I am taking a short break from doing assignments. So much to do yet so little time. Oh dearrr~ ):

So anw, slept in till late afternoon last Sat. Yes, I'm very much deprived of sleep. Woke up, got ready, packed my bag & headed dwn to Boyf's as his cousins were having a chalet at Pasir Ris. Reached the other end of Spore at bout 9-ish? Got some food, played around with the lil kiddos and yes, I did my assignment after that when the rest were slping. Thanks to the Boyf for staying up with me till 3am.

And ytd, had to wake up real early in the morning. Got bathed & woke the Boyf up too. And once again, while he was bathing and getting ready, I continued doing my assignments with his cousin, Fizah, accompanying me. Haha. She's really nice. We left at bout 9.30 and made our way to Sengkang. Yes, FREAKING SENGfuckingKANG. Managed to sit with the FavGirlszx too in the CC. Watched the grps performed & soon, it was Boyf's turn. Overall, they did awesome! :D Ended really late, wahliaooo. But I guess the wait was worth it cus Boyf's team clinched 3 achievements. GOOD JOB, QITABI! & Boyf, you know I am really really really proud of you! Love you! :D

He's gonna turn into a devil's child too. Haha.

Cup noodles for Brunch!

Dayana, Me & Kak Iana. (:

Colourful Kak Iana! :D

Qitabi! Spot my bestie, spot my bestie! ^^

Hehe, I love how happy Boyf look in this photo. :>

The original Devil's Child. Hehe. ^^

HAHAHA! He was disturbing some lil baby in front. Tsk.

MY FAVOURITE GIRLS! :D

With Amitaichiiii~ (:

With Susyyyy~ (:

Eera, you didn't take pichaaa with me. ):

Got cranky while waiting for his parents to fetch us cus I was mad hungry. ): Returned to the chalet, got my stuff, ate super late dinner & was sent home. Printed stuff for Fahmi before I continued on my assignments which I ended up falling asleep halfway.

***

And to my special boy, Andi Risna.

We've reached our 3rd chapter. It hasn't exactly been easy recently but I'm really glad we managed to press on. There were times I thought it's just impossible between us & when I almost gave up and let go, you still held on tight. I'm so glad you did. Cus it's pretty much unimaginable not having you around. Wdvr it is, I'm jz thankful to have you as a part of my life. You know I love you so much. *hearts*

2010-01-28T22:26:00.003+08:00

To think about it, I can't even remember the last time I felt so humiliated in front of so many people. At that moment, I wished the ground would cave in and swallow me up.

But no, life never treats you well. By hook or by crook, we gotta clean up this hell of a mess, with or without you. We gotta get our act together and face the music.

But among all, the mere thought of having to give up on my dream, that pretty much broke my heart the most.

I've never hated school so much for the last 18years of my life.

Because preparing myself to be a slave to Media, it's not a job. It's a chore.

2010-01-27T20:23:00.006+08:00

All the words that I come up with, they're like gasoline on flames, no excuses, no explanation.

Gotta squeeze in a little update before I have my dinner and start on my school work. It never seem to end! Ugh. It cost me my Ladies Night at Rebel with Eera & Kat. Tsk, no choice. ):

So yeah. The week started out real bad. Broke down while talking to Eera after lecture. Like I've always put it, curiosity kills the cat. But no, this time, it killed me once again. I was helpless. It's been so long since I felt that kind of confusion where it really messes up my head. Forced myself to stay focus during the 2 remaining lectures. Met up with the girls for training & we ended up singing to jiwang songs on the studio floor. I swear, I didn't knw what I was feeling. I know I was very deeply saddened by what happened yet at the same time, being with my girls at that vulnerable period of time made me feel calm. Tangled up much, yes? Sigh.

Forced myself out of bed ytd and managed to get my head in the game. I carelessly left my hp at Fantasia. Meh. Had a lil difficulty trying to contact Andi and Firman. But wdvr. Off to YCK, with a heavy heart, trying to keep a straight face the whole time. Sigh.

Overslept for group meeting jz nw. Heh. As usual, I was lost during MRM and TV Prod was a waste of time. Went home straight and met Andi & the rest of the boys before they went to YCK.

Okay, here's the pictures for our Steamboat Night.

Imran messed up my hair! >:(

The wedge-girl!

Mellybooooo~

Our table! :D

As usual, I'm KT's official Cake Girl. (:

I swear, I was laughing my ass off seeing her getting bullied! Hahaha!

Happy birthday, Kak Iana! :D

Eeraaaa~

Kene sabo! Hehe!

My party people. :D

"Lmbt sia nk amek gmbr kite! Tido dulu uh!"

Party People v2.

Y3A! Babiesss~

Favourite kaki(s)

Kak Ianaaaaa~

Mr KTM. (:

Okaye, I hungry. Nak makan. Bye!

2010-01-26T01:04:00.001+08:00

Just keep pushing it.
Cus you know what, I'm getting better at handling this shit.

2010-01-21T15:13:00.010+08:00

And now that I'm stronger, I've figured out how this world turns cold.

Aaachoooo! *sniffs* It's sure getting quite dusty here. Haha, okay lame. -.-

So yes, I finally found some time to update this space of mine. School's haven't been easy yet it's not that tough either. And sure as hell, I'm learning my lesson the hard way. You don't hafta knw what this is all about. Hmm.

Life's good except for some hiccups here and there. For the past Tues and Thurs nights, they had been put aside to accompany the Boyf for his @ training. The reason why my ezlink is dying. Haha. But it's okaaaaye! Cus I get to meet my NazriBestie too at the same time! Plus other gooood friends like Azri, Syafiq, Firman & Afiq! :D

Fri afternoon with Ami was goooood too. Cus I miss having her around. Managed to have lunch tgt after sooo long. Hehe, I miss you, Ami. Love you! (:

Managed to squeeze in time to meet the rest of the favourite girls too last Sat for Jiwo Jiro Production at Esplanade. Though it was only me, Eera & Yanti, we sure enjoyed our own girlies time over at One Fullerton Starbucks. Laughing over our own silly antics, yeah, we're happy like that. Love you girls! (:

With Fyqa before she gets ready for her show. (:

Ours. (:

Then, we met up with HafizS before getting our seats in the theatre. Bumped into a quite a few familiar faces. It was a 75mins drama production and it was really worth the 20bucks. The Sri Nadi guys & girls did awesome I felt like giving them a standing ovation. Haha. Am really proud of them, especially my home girl, Mellyboo! You're one talented babe! :D So we waited for them before all head dwn to the mrt station together. Managed to have my dose of laughter with Mellyboo which I really really missed eversince she got very busy with the production. Love youuu! (:

Gave St James with the usuals a miss cus I wasn't in the right state of mind. Hmm. So I headed home. Sat night at home, yeah, I know I kental. ):

With Eera. (:

With Yanti. (:

Y3A! without Ami. (:

With HafizS. (:

JwJr! :D

With the smart mamat, Afiq. (:

With dearest Fizaaa. (:

Good job, Aishah! (:

With Mellybooooo! :D

With Ria Andi. (:

My girl looking so masai like that. Haha!

In the train otw back!

Thanks for the awesome time, girlies. :>
We all look pretty that day, don't you think so? HEHEHE. (:

And last Sunday, came down for the Boyf's takraw match over at JW. Met him alongside with the siblings Remy & Rudy. And oh, with their nephew, Shafiq! So cute you knw that boy. Sat arnd at Boy's place before going dwn to the court. Luckily Waddy-dy (hehe!) came dwn with Raffian. Heh, if not I wud have been bored to tears. I saw Amsyar too! He happened to be in the opponent team. Haha. So yeah, I was on my butt for about 5 hours throughout the whole match. Boyf sent me home after that, thank God. Love you baby! :>

Alim, Radi & Andi. (:

Nusantara2 Boys.

Syafiq prangai peh sial! Hahaha.

The most important boys in my life; Andi & Nazri. (:

Bestie's regu team. (:

Boyf's regu team. (:

And say hello to Shafiq! :D

Lol. Raffian & Azri. Haha. (:

With the Woodlands boys.

Brotherloves. Hahaha!

The rest of the pics for both events are up on Multiply. (:

And the week has been good so far. The first time I'm attending school without skipping any classes/lectures. Yes, FIRST time since the term started. Gotta catch up on a lot of stuff but thankfully, I have one of the best advisor who keep pushing me despite knowing how pressured I really feel about school.

Oh! Plus, the interview with RIA 897fm at MediaCorp went quite well. My malay was a bit rusty but I'm kind of proud of myself for still being able to converse properly in my own language. ^^

So yes, despite the tough week before, I feel quite accomplished cus I managed to spend time equally with my loved ones. That's enough for me, I guess. In fact, it's actually more than enough to make me feel contented. (:

And oh! I hear party bells ringing next Wed night. Hehe. ^^

2010-01-10T15:25:00.006+08:00

Missing you so deep, as long as I'm where you're going to, I'd wait forever.

School's been quite bleargh. I've pointed out the main reasons why I'm staying. Okay, actually more of the main people I'm staying for. Shall not mention names here but I guess they know who they are. So yes. That's all I hafta say about school. :/

When Fri arrived, suddenly it feels like I had so much to do. Performance, assignment deadline, MediaCorp interview, etc. So yeah. Let's do it one by one, shall we?

Had to give performance a miss, AGAIN, due to the interview. But I had faith in the girls & I knw they did good. (:

Rushed to sch to hand in 2 of my assignments. It was hectic everywhr in sch. Met up with Danny at the bustop before heading to MediaCorp. Oh God, I was shaking jz by talking bout it. Haha. But I guess we were alright during the interview with Georgina & Justin Ang. We backed up each other here & there and we're really crossing our fingers for this.

Oh, it was an interview for 987fm btw. :D

So yeah, after that met up with Eera, Mel & Ifaa at Dover and off we head dwn to Zirca. The boyf came dwn a few hrs later. And I swear, my expression was like this, O.O when I saw him carrying an Adidas paperbag. It was the Sleek series this time. Hehehehe, thank you love! :D And as usual, his entry got rejected again. I wanted to breakdwn, cry, scream, shout, stomp my feet, sulk etc. I lost my mood to party instantly. The girls went in with Ojan's so the both of us went St James instead. -.-

Crowd suck, the 1st DJ suck, the songs suck. Period.

Met up with Firman & Iryan & afterwhich we took the first train and off to fill our tummies. Went to watch Vampire Assistant or smtg. A lil weird, I must say. But I got my Twister Fries after that. Went back home and crash. No kidding.

/edit.
Firman & Iryan sent Mel & Ifaa back to NP in the Transformer car (haha!) while Me & Boyf took the first train and it was only the both of us who went to watch the movie. (:

The Freeloaders. HAHAHA!

Atiqa + Eera = Tukang jahanamkan anak dara org.

(First, we brought _____ to St James, this time we brought Ifaa to Rebel. Haha.)

Mellyboo & Jane! :D

:DD

Blue nails, ftw.

Hello, bitch. :>

Jz so you knw, we have more party plans which we're gonna try carrying out one fine week. Hehehehe. xD

With the birthday boy, Ojan. :>

With Aishah. :>

Left: Get-Well-Soon gift when I had Tonsilitis.
Right: A gift for turning 18yearsold&5mths. (:

Okay bye. See you soon. (:

2010-01-03T15:22:00.006+08:00

Cus when the roof caved in and the truth came out, I just didn't know what to do.

It's 2010, bitches. Another new year to conquer. :D

I had a good time with the Boyf ushering the New Year, with Bee Hoon Goreng in our tummies. Hehe. It was also our 2nd Chapter. :>

Went shopping the next day! Kept changing places to eat. From Seoul Garden to Secret Recipe to Ayam Penyet Ria to KFC. Filled up our tummies for lunch & off I go buying my new wallet and jacket. 2 things off my list. Hehe. Walked arnd town till my legs almost came off. But it was a good start for the year. :D

Woke up real early ytd. Cabbed dwn to sch cus I overslept. Had a few run-thru(s) for the performance & off we went to Bt Panjang. A very simple wedding affair. Ate goooooood food. Hehe.

With Kak Iana. (:

Our Soulja Boy! :D

With Yanti. (:

With the FavFreshie, Eenaaaaa. (:

With Dayah. (:

With Kak Iana & Dayah. (:

NP MCC. (:

Met the Boyf, Firman, Dayana & their cousin at JP. Had the Boyf to accompany me check out my books & my organiser. He's amazed at how much of a bookworm I am. And how fussy & choosy I can get when I wanna get my things. Hehh. Chilled at the park behind my place before I headed hm & crash. Had stuff in my head before slping but oh wells, I gotta face it.

Muke mintak kene smackzxz!

Andi: Pout tu mcm ni eh u?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D

Smooches! :-*

O.O

Favourite pic of the day. (:

Boyf's attempt at smiling with his teeth. Haha.

And now, I cant wait for Steamboat with the Favs! Yayy! Hardcore eating for the last few days. Omg. Haha. The Boyf's gonna send me home after that since he's having Takraw arnd the same area. Oh yayyy~

Sch's reopening tmr. DAMN.

2009-12-31T02:21:00.000+08:00

Here comes another 1 Jan, here comes a brand new year.

I wouldn't be making any definite new year resolutions because I'll never get it done, so I shall just pass it. Probably jz gonna come up with a few. Heh. :P

But definitely, 2009 has been a really memorable year. It was a whole rollercoaster ride yet at the same time, just like a ferris wheel. There were times when I was high up in the sky and times when I felt really low.

Once again, 2009 has stretched my emotions beyond words. I saw different sides of me which I never knew I had. Along the way, I've picked up things to learn and I guess, I can say I grew up a little. This heart has probably gone through every possible phase and I'm glad at the end of the day, it all ends well. (:

As usual, throughout the entire 12 months of 2009, being somene whose world revolves around friends, I've lost my fair share of friends along the way. I guess I just got tired of holding to people whom I think don't deserve my time. And I've definitely learnt how to let go.

But one thing I'm truly grateful for is my new family, Kampong Tiarap. Truly the ones who saw me through every possible setbacks I had yet never leaving me all alone. The times I spent with them, be it the Karaoke Sessions, be it the Birthday Celebrations, be it the Shisha Sessions, be it the Iftar or be it the Jalan Raya, I can honestly say, it's definitely one of the best times of my 2009. No matter how many of us turned up, no matter where we went, I know by the end of the night, I'll head home with a smile.

Every single one of you, I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. You guys truly mean the world to me and each and every single one of you is special to me. Love love! (:

And of course, to my all-time favourite girls, Lydia, Shakina, Hajar & Ainni, I miss you girls so much, I wish time could rewind. I wish every single one of you angels, all the best and of course, thank you. (:

Last but not least, to that Dearest Boy, thank you. You'll always be one of the best things that can ever happen in my whole entire life. Love you. xoxo.

And to the rest of you out there, hope all of have a blast in this coming New Year. Cheers! :D

2009-12-28T19:21:00.002+08:00

That night was the last time I saw you. It’s been 12 days since then.

I hate the suffocating feeling of missing you.

It’s like, it’s already tough enough to know you’re longing for that someone so badly but you still have to fight for your breath at the same time.

I don’t know if I’m making much sense but I guess, that’s how I feel. Simply said, I feel very messed up.

Honestly, I’ve never missed any being as much like this. This feeling is so alien to me, I don’t even know how to deal with it.

At times, the feeling is so overwhelming, it threatens to tear me apart. But at times, it feels like nothing, just numb.

I tell myself, 2 weeks is nothing as compared to the 2 years that I’ve spent waiting. But hey, it’s just different, you know.

3 more days till I get to meet you. And even 3 days seemed so long.

I missed you a whole lot.

xoxo.

2009-12-23T01:15:00.003+08:00

Those who are reading this,
Can you please drop by Jurong West Pasar Mlm and find this boy?
He's called Andi Risna & he makes awesome Ramly burgers.
Pls help me tell him I miss him.
)':

2009-12-21T23:03:00.007+08:00

Tick tock on the clock, but the party don't stop.

Whee hee hee~ Another blog entry on another night out. Hehe. Holidays whaaat! Party uh, abe? Mampos. :D

So yeah, before that, I gotta say I had a great time during Adiratna's Stayover in sch. Lepak habes! Played Twister, which never fails to leave me in a super wrong position. Watched Mohabbatein tgt with the girls & other chick flicks. Karaoke session too. Arhhh, bliss. Shall wait for the pics!

And the night? Ape lagi, ST JAMES uh! :P Got ready in sch & drove dwn to HarbourFront. As expected, so many cinones in there. -____-

In Melly's car.

Partners-in-crime. :D

24/7 Bitchmate. :>

While walking in.

One of those whom I'm willing to take a bullet for. :>

Come what may. :>

And pls imagine, it was alr 12 & everyone was still standing arnd. Wtf. -___- Me & Eera started dancing bits here & there cus the songs too weren't so happening. Slowly, the crowd grew bigger. I was getting restless. Coincidentally, the DJ played 'Kiss Me Thru The Phone'. Arhhh ape lagi, aku ngan Eera trus naek podium. Heh heh. The only 2 girls on the podium and I swear, all the cinones dwn there were staring at us. Wdvrrr~ Cus you knw why, it's only after that the party started.

The only 2 girls on the podium at that time. :D

:D

So yes, I made a record with Eera for being the first 2 people to burn the dancefloor and podium. SYIOK. :P

And also! For smacking a guy on his head for trying to step things up with one of the girls. Sumpah, aku marah that time. Yes, I physically hit him on the dancefloor and even after that, he still dare to ask for a dance. Cb, I gave him another death stare and off he went.

As quoted by Mel, "Die takot ngan kau, padahal kau lebih kecik dari die sia!"

So yeah, met up with my Instant Lil Bro, Ali Reza at Sentosa before he got all cheeky & disturbed me non-stop. Sepak kang baru tau ehh! Went hm tgt with Eera & crashed like no one's business.

Pending Ladies Night this coming Wed. But I'm working. So I'll probably pass, BUT! We'll see how. Hehe. :P

Okay done.

Oh, hello Boyf, I miss you. ):

2009-12-18T02:30:00.009+08:00

But the party don't stop, no, ain't got a care in the world.

Hehe, I've been MIA much, yes? Sorry, but that's hw boring my life had been for the past week. Nothing interesting to blog about. That explains the absence. Haha, apologies!

So yeah. Last Wed marks my unofficial last day of school. Syiok. Right after TV Prod class, met up with Eera and made our way back to my place to get ready. Hehe, so fun. Got changed and left hm about 8.30pm to meet the boys at Clarke Quay. Abg Lili (haha!) joined us later. Things kinda got a lil screwed when the Boyf's entry to Rebel got rejected. Knn ccb. >.<

Smoke breaks at my place.

While waiting for the bus at my bustop.

The Photobooth.

We didnt expect ourselves to be in the same colour combo. Haha. Coincidence.

Lawaaaaa nyer. Anak sape ni?

Hehe, partners in crime. :>

Abg Lili kitaaaa~ :D

In Zirca, after we gave up finding the boys. Haha.

More waiting at the bridge after Boyf's entry rejection.

2nd clubbing night with the Boyf. :>

While waiting, again. We were bored yaaa.

Fir! Smue dah pandai ehhh. Haha.

More waiting. Sigh.

We certainly bumped into many familiar faces. Like Syirah & Dayah. Arrhhh, we screamed like little girls when they saw us. Haha. Then we saw Helmi & Nazrul in the Zirca line. Erm, haha. Sumpah, it was damn awkward. Heh. Then a few of the Fuhua Kakis like Fir & Hisham. I was then told they met a few more inside. As quoted by our Abg Lili, ade pyscho kt dlm. Haha!!

And oh, I saw that plank who tried to kiss the Boyf a few wks back. Sot sia aku jap. After seeing her twice, KIMEK, PECAAAH. Serious talking. Hurr.

Eera, Me, Dayah & Syirah. :>

So anw, after 5 rejections from Zirca/Rebel, we gave up. So while Eera they all party in Rebel, me & the Boyf decided to try Attica, with Yattacos. The music wasnt too bad. Lighting, POWER! The only bummer, the dancefloor was a tad too small and everyone around us look 20-ish. Haha.

But that aside, we had an awesome time. It's actually not too bad clubbing with your own boyf. Heh heh. Since the party ended at bout 4, we waited for the rest. Lepak for awhile till about 9 & made our way back hm. I swear, I was tired like a dog. Haha. Accompanied the Boyf for breakfast & haircut before I slept like a pig for about 10hrs, I think. Hahaha.

with love. :>

Having fun, really. Haha.

With Yattacos. :>

Enjoyinggg~

And yes, I felt good ytd. No insecurities despite seeing that plank. I guess I jz gotta learn hw to accept myself more. :>

Okay, I gotta try to get thru the Boyf's hp again. He's probably still sleeping and not elsewhere, I hope. Cant wait to meet the LuvGirls later on for sleepover in sch till Sat & St James, here we come! :D

2009-12-07T01:44:00.002+08:00

(bad photo of me & Ainni, but I think the guys look good)

THIS IS PURELY JUST A RANT.

Ytd night in Rebel made me feel all fragile, so breakable once again. I could literally feel my self-esteem shrinking to a naught. How could I be compared to all the girls in there? I tell you, I’m nothing. Not my dress, not my shoes, not my jacket and of course, not my face. I feel horrible, to be honest. I see pretty girls everywhere staring at him, dropping obvious hints for a dance and I know he can easily hook up with them if he wants to.

And I felt worse after bumping into his sec2 exgirlf, the one that could make any guy's head turn. I jz wanted to disappear instantly.

Something no one knows is how sometimes I feel he deserves someone better. Yes, despite how badly I know it’s him that I love. No matter how much I doll myself up, it can’t be compared to the other girls out there. Believe it or not, he’s got friends who have compared me to his prev girlfs and trust me, I’m nowhere near the top and it hurts.

Yes, I may look like this girl who have confidence spelled all over her face but inside, only God knows how vulnerable it is. It may sound superficial but hey, reality check, having good looks can take you anywhere. But no, I’m not fully blessed with that bonus in life.

With my heart and soul, I am not perfect but I really am trying my best. :/

2009-12-02T00:18:00.002+08:00

Here's a special shout out to a special man right up there in the photo.
(Yes, the retarded looking one, HAHA!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ABG IM! :D
Semoga dipanjangkan umur, dimurahkan rezeki dan sentiasa bahagia di samping keluarga yang tersyg.

***

Yes, there were definitely times when tempers flared up and vulgarities were hurled, we all knew he just wants the best for us. He pushed us to the point where we honestly believe we can make it through the Dikir scene, once again.

When no one stood by us, he did.
When no one believed in us, he did.
When no one had the slightest faith in us, he did.
When everyone else left, he did not.

And for that, he deserve the best birthday later. With Kak Fizah & his 4 lil princesses.

Have a great one later, Abg. (:

xoxo

2009-12-01T01:21:00.003+08:00

Exactly one month ago, life took a turn.

Happy 1st, baby.

2009-11-28T23:30:00.007+08:00

You ain't my runner-up and no matter what, you're always my number one.

It's a lil too late to say this but SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI to all my muslim sisters & brothers! :D

Ytd was spent at Nenek's place in Ghim Moh, with Sis Rabia fetching us in the white Mazda. Ate real good food with the cousins & celebrated the Nov babies' bday. And as usual, someone has to get caked, so Adam became the victim. Sorry my dear! Hehe.

Mama, Adam & Zainab. (:

With Nenek! :D

He really cracks everyone up with his silly antics. That's Akif, btw. Hehe!

Youngest uncle bought a Starhub line plan for me but I'm still not sure if I wanna use it cus for now, I really prefer using a ppd card cus it's more worth the money. Headed home, took a short nap & was really excited to watch Rindu Raudhah. Hehe :DDD

Job well done for all the casts & crews cus I was tearing up real bad. ):

Best part, it's all being shoot in the comfort of my home! Hehe, nmpk tak muke PAP aku kt frame? Hehe, instant fame oiii. =P Had cousins & friends texting me up the moment they realised it's my colourful home. Heh.

Will post up pics of ytd once I get them frm the cousins. (:

And today, finally a proper date with the Boyf. Cooked up my fav Mac&Cheese and fried my fav Popcorn Chicken for our mini picnic at Henderson Waves. Hee, I love picnics. But since it was wet when we arrived, we went up to Mount Faber instead. Fucking tiring, I swear. But it was great time spent with the Boyf. I was on a laughing fit all the time. Haha. The walk back down was scary though. Dark but the LED lights were damn pretty. Both of us so jakun, so keep snapping pics. Haha. Love the busride back to J.e. (:

Met up with the Takraw boys at Lakeside & Ainni came down to join us! Yayyyyy, damn happy sia! Did our usual catching up and had our fair share of jokes & laughters. Arhhh, I love that BabyGirl of mine! But whr's the rest? ): Boyf sent me to the bustop before heading to the playground to play Colours. Yes, wtf right. -.- Hahaha.

Okay, pics! Only the raw ones. Both editted & raw up on Multiply! :D

I cooked this myself okay! :D

It's a success! Okay Mummy, dah boleh kahwin alr! =P

Mama helped with the frying of the Popcorn Chicken. Heh.

Otw there babies! :D

Raining quite heavily. Ngeh.

Boyf's lil monkey. Hehe.

Kanak riang dpt mkn ice-cream!
And yes, that's my bracelet on his wrist. Haha!

Damn high!

Happy faces at Henderson Waves. (:

Walking up to Mt Faber Point. I was whining. =/

Reached! :D

Peak point! :D

Coke, Popcorn Chicken, Hotdog, Mac&Cheese. Yummy!

Dgn penuh penghayatan. HAHAHA!

Pretty bridge! :D

I love you!

Takraw session.

Syafiq looks like a Koala, no? Hehe.

Gotta go now. Work at 10am tmr! Bye!

2009-11-28T02:28:00.003+08:00

FUCK YOU VERY VERY MUCH.

If seeing me happy disgust you so much, then by all means, piss off.

Hate all you want but you can't break the girl who thinks nothing of you.

PLEASE GROW UP.

2009-11-24T15:21:00.012+08:00

You have my soul, I'm just letting you know, that's why I can't say go.

Arhhh, another period of short hiatus. Meh, that's what Poly Life does to you. Sucks out all your time & leave you with nothing but more and more assignments. But it's okay, it's gonna be worth it! Jiayou all :D

So yeah, let's have a proper update, starting from last Fri. Sch as usual, our drama performance went fine. Met Love at J.e, where I bumped into Zizi (NDP). Hehe. Headed back to my place for lunch before heading out again to Qihua. Got the boys changed & my fav part, slapping (literally!) their faces with the cosmetic powder. Joked around with the usual boys.

Boy: Kakak, Abg Andi your brother kan?
Me: Huh?! Tak lah! o.o

Haha. So yeah, that was then they knew we're actually not siblings. What the hell. So yeah, after a few run-thru(s), the concert started & the boys did awesome, really. Once again, Cikgu brought us out for supper, without Love this time cus he went back early.

Syafiq & Abg Im.

Happy boys.

Multi-talented. (:

Riskan & Syaifuddin.

Lunch time!

Our Juara. (:

Massaging each other. So cute!

One of their silly antics. :D

My dearest Irman.

With Cikgu Shaimah, best teacher, hands down. (:

Dikir Qihua. (:

With Cikgu Shaimah & Cikgu Safura.

With Riskan.

With the ex-Qihuaian, Salam.

Yes, they cried cus it's their last day of sch. Such sweet boys.

Tak habes2 ngan die nye Banana Split. :P

Was plan-less on Sat cus plans to head dwn to St James got cancelled. I was sad lorrr. HAHA. But it's okay. We decided to watch a movie instead. Quickly dropped by Love's place to get him his shirt cus he dirtied his work shirt. Haha. 'Paranormal Activity' was so full of suspense, it almost killed me. Ugh. Had Ice-cream at Swensens after that. Met up with Icaaa's family since they were at Causeway Pt too & we all had dinner at Woodlands.

Sticky Chewy Chocolate.

Icaaa~

That's the place.

Aftermath. Haha.

And Sunday was Waddy's 18th! :D Met up with Love at Jp & headed to Azri's place to prepare all the stuff. The boys were also jz hanging out while practising for their performance. Cut it short, Waddy got sabo big time with the spray, the flour & the cake. Hehe! Ate the cakes, played the huge firecrack thingy & jz slacked at Az's place after eating our dinner. Rewaaaaang~ Haha. I know Love alr have smtg in mind for my bday in June. Smtg to do with Whipped Cream. Wth.

Waddy's cake.

Preparinggg~

Sabo time!

Very dark eh. Haha.

Epic. Haha. The ball fell into the canal. Haha.

Dinner. (:
Sukenye mataer aku dpt mkn. Haha.

And ytd, lecture as usual. Watched movie in the lib during break & managed to sleep at Fantasia. Rushed off after 5 & Yanto picked me up to head dwn to Grand Copthorne for Fuhua's Prom. We got terribly lost on the road. But still, I think we did a good job on stage, despite the fact that we dun even have a script in hand. The food was good too! Had a great time with everyone. Bus-ed back to Clementi at 11.45 & cabbed home with Love, Man, Azri & Q.

*hearts*

The DamnBurgers.

DB with Waddy! :D

& I cudnt wake up for sch today cus I was toooooo tired & my back ached like crazy. I shud stop this bad habit of skipping sch as & when I like. Tsk.

Okay, gotta get back on writing my feature article.

And from today onwards, I'll only get to meet Love on one of the days during the weekends. He's busy with sch & work for the whole entire week, while I'm stuck with sch frm Mon to Fri & work on either Sat or Sun. Meh. ):

And I'm missing the FavGirlzxz! Gonna make time for all of you once I get this assignment into my teacher's pigeonhole okay? Rindu & syg koraaaaaang! :D

2009-11-19T22:35:00.004+08:00

“No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater… The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that’s the key. It’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.”
— Sarah Dessen

I Love You.

2009-11-14T16:21:00.019+08:00

Betapa senang ku dendangkan, dan takkan ku lepaskan.

Alright, it's about time for a super proper update right now. I've got assignments to do, but I shall spare some time for my dear blog who's right now screaming to be updated. Hehe. So here we go! :D

So last Sunday was the very much anticipated wedding on the Paternal side. The union of Sis Sophie & Bro Iyuan. (: Had to wake up damn early to get ready, meh. Headed to Sis Rabia's place to help them with get ready & off we went to the multi-purpose hall. The whole place looked damn grand! & what's scary was how the 5 of us look insanely similar with our custom-made pink kebaya. Siapa bilang gadis melayu tak menawan? HAHAHA :P

Im too lazy to have it all captioned. Hur.

Favourites.

Rudy, Alawi, Adam. (:

Style doh!

Hahaha rewang kaper boy!

Guestbook. (:

So yeah, had to help out by giving out bubbles for the lil kiddos. Everyone knows I have a soft spot for lil children. Hehe. A few hours later, Sis Sophie came down and the Pinky Girls blew the bubbles as she walked dwn the lil aisle. It was such an amazing feeling. Lotsa photo-taking before Bro Iyuan came.

Reception desk.

Fairytale feeling. (:

Teti! :D

Daddy's girl. (:

As usual, we have all the Hadang Tradition. There were 5 stops okay! Sis Sophie's paternal relatives were the first. Haha. We were the 2nd stop. Sungguh kecoh, I tell you! Standard, kate boyan, klau tak kecoh tak sah nye. Haha. So yeah. I represented the cousins & we got 20bucks as a result. Yayy! The other stops were Sis Sophie's friends & the Mak Andam's.

Making sure the envelopes are filled. Haha!

Ahh, finally. Haha.

First person to silat for the newlyweds.

Saying some prayers.

More phototaking before Sis Sophie went over to Bro Iyuan's side. We continued helping around, slacked around, ate some more, etc. Bro Wan managed to book out so the cousins were complete, except for Umar, who was in Japan.

Sis Sophie's paternal side.

Sis Sophie's maternal side, US! :D

Qaisaraaaa~

As usual. Hehe.

That's Sis Rabia's boyf. Training nmpk!

Bik Salmah & Mama. (:

Makcik Keropok. Haha.

Youngest uncle. (:

He hates those bubbles. Haha.

Blooooood~

Paternal + Maternal = BAIK!

The guests slowly stopped coming & soon the newly weds came back & summed up the whole event. Sis Sophie gave a speech & we took more photos! :D So yeah, had Canadian Pizza with the cousins with the 20bucks that I managed to get.

DJ paling kecoh. Haha.

"I love you all!" - Sis Sophie *hugs*

Sis Rabia's boyf (Abg Isk), Abg, Rudy. (:

Special 14 now, w/o Umar. :D

Part-time boyf. Haha.

Stealing the flowers! Haha!

The rest of the pics are up on Multiply. (:

Had difficulty waking up for Lecture the nxt day. Exhausted like crazy from the wedding. Managed to stay up & off to meet Andi & his friends after that at IMM. Headed to JP for duno-what, I seriously cant rmb. Haha. Sch as usual for the week, except it wasnt very easy this wk. But I think it's fine now. By ytd, one dateline off the list alr.

Work at Sentosa was fine too. Very very nice staff & esp Phebe for guiding me the whole day. I know how to operate the whole stimulation ride at Cineblast now! Hehe ^^ Home-ed with JM. Was very very tired.

And ytd, right after sch, headed dwn to Andi's for lunch cus I was super duper hungry. Since I dun eat fish, his mummy cooked chicken jz for me. Hehe. Cash is a lil tight this mth, so yeah. Hang out for a while after 3 days of nt meeting before we head down to Qihua. Folded 29 tanjaks for the lil boys while they had their rehearsal. Cikgu then brought the both of us for supper at Sembawang. Talked over alot of things. Some embarrassing stuff also, like how I duno how to cook, etc. Haha. Like what Andi said, aku ngan Cikgu kan kamcheng. Haha.

After much persuasion from Andi, I reluctantly followed him to YCK for @. Meh, I think I almost cried outside the CC cus I really didnt wanna go. Well cus girls are jz diff from boys. Everyone obviously knws that I wasnt the only girl he ever brought to @ before, so it really wasnt easy for me. And I know my pride is as impt as my life to me. But I guess it wasnt simple for ppl to fathom the situation.

But it was alright. I got to meet Haaaazril, Afiq, Syafiq, Hakim, Izzat, etc. :D

Okay, time for assignment. Bye!

2009-11-13T01:26:00.005+08:00

I'll be back. Soon.

Busy trying to catch up with this thing called Life.

On a brighter note, I have a new job now. Sentosa 4D Magix & Cineblast. :D

Happy 18th birthday, Lydia. You're the bestestest bestfriend in the whole wide world. *hugs*

P.s. I miss my boyf. =/